The Road to Success

The following is a poem of mine that is offered publication.

Why must My emotions change so quickly
To such opposite extremes?
As I walked the halls,I began to envy absconders.
Something had come over me
That brought about feelings of departure.
Would leaving Everyone and Everything
Smooth the progress of My restoration?
I needed to be Revamped.
Otherwise, I would be severed into pieces of clay,
Desolate from the once masterful piece of artwork
That had once consumed me.

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You know, when you think about your life you can’t help but think about all of the events that led up to where you are now. At the time those moments in your life didn’t seem like much, yet it’s true that your past molds your future. It’s all of those decisions that we made when we were younger that made us who we are today.

I am able to explain things best in terms of analogies, and this article will present nothing short of just that.When you are born, consider yourself a solid, three-dimensional block of clay. As you go through life, every event, every decision, every single interaction you have will essentially carve you into your true self. If you see things from a mathematical perspective like I do, what I’m trying to say is that we are all functions with an initial point at (0,0) when we are born. As time goes on, the function increases and decreases until eventually the function reaches it’s limit. This is the point in your life where you’ve become what you were intended to . You’ve become the product of years and years of wear and tear on your fragile, clay-like body.What I’m trying to say is that every aspect of your life ultimately molds you into the person you become. There are certain conscious decisions that you can make that will change how you are carved. It is up to you to decide who you are and who you will become.

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I recently watched a very interesting video from Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert that discussed the premise that people can ‘synthesize’ happiness. He says that humans can ultimately control how happy they are simply by changing their views about how they see the world.

At the start of the lecture, Gilbert gives the audience a pop quiz. He challenges each of the audience members to pick the destiny that would result in a greater degree of happiness for them a year later. The two options for the audience to select from were winning the lottery and becoming a paraplegic. Clearly, everyone selected the former, however, Gilbert professes that in reality, the former and the latter would result in an equal amount of happiness for the individual. This is because of something called the “Impact Bias.” The Impact Bias is “the tendency to overestimate the hedonic impact of future events.” This just means that the human brain often overestimates the degree of pleasure a certain event can contain.

Studies show that we can make ourselves happy by just imagining ourselves as being happy. Thus, by getting those materialistic items that we so greatly yearn for to fill us with joy will in reality have no effect on how we feel. At the same time, your “psychological immune system” can work adversely towards you. By having negative thoughts, you are only hurting yourself. By thinking positively and optimistically, you are allowing synthetic happiness into your life which will allow you to prosper and grow as an individual.

The article that succeeded the film stated a list of ten things that humans should focus on to optimize their health. These items include:

1. Address emotional traumas
2. Get optimal sun exposure
3. Drink pure water
4. Avoid toxins
5. Eat the right fats
6. Eat right for your Nutritional Type
7. Eat raw foods
8. Control your insulin and leptin
9. Exercise
10. Sleep properly

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Solitaire. Only recently did I realize the connection that solitaire had with life. Solitaire tells you a lot about expectations, about sudden plights, and much more.

Every time you start a new game of solitaire the cards are in a different order. Things are constantly changed every time a new game is underway.

Each solitaire game represents a life. You have your seven columns/piles of cards that you‘re dealt with that you have no control over (call this A). There are another four piles, each starting with an ace (call this B). Finally, there the other cards that are leftover after you deal out A (call this C). So to associate A, B, and C to life. A is what is dealt to you that you have no control over in your life. Things that your parents have passed down to you, for example. Once you start your life this is what you’re dealt. It’s your job to work with these “cards,” simplifying them whenever possible. By simplifying, you’re making things more clear. You’re getting a better sense of who you actually are. This takes people years and years to figure out. Identifying who you are and what your purpose is in life is one of the hardest things to decipher. That pile of cards we referred to as C represents those aspects of life that are thrown your way, so to speak. It’s those things in life that test you and change your life. Sometimes the card may work its way into your life (become a part of A). In turn, this is changing your life as your life doesn’t solely consist of aspects that you can’t control, but other things that you’ve decided to incorporate into your being. Next is the part of life that B represents. When you are born, you are just A. As time goes on, parts of C are incorporated into your life. As time goes on though, things will also leave your life. This is what B represents. B symbolizes those aspects of your life that you’ve overcome; that don’t have an effect on your life anymore. For example, you may lose a friend. That friend may have been a part of A, however, since you’re no longer friends with that person, you’ve moved on, and essentially they’ve been demoted to B where they have no importance. As you probably know, there is a point where there are no more “moves” that you can do. This basically means that there’s nothing in C that can be incorporated into your life, A, and there’s nothing in A that will leave your life, and be moved to B. I like to think of this point as retirement. It is at this point where one has to just be content with where they are in life and realize that nothing drastic could really happen at this point. You’ve played your game of life and now it’s time to take it easy and settle down. Finally, when the player decides to give up and end the game, they are essentially ending their life and this represents death. In addition, when someone gives up midway through their game of solitaire, they are effectively committing suicide. They are giving up on life when they still have so many opportunities to be take advantage of.

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Friendship is like a quota. The quota is different for each friendship, however, but there is a quota for every friendship. The quota I’m talking about deals with how well two people can be friends. Let me explain.

The size of the quota is determined by how well each individual perceives the other. If they hit it off really well, the quota will be higher. If one of the individuals found the other annoying, the quota will be fairly low obviously.

I believe there is a limit on how large a quota can be for a given relationship. Two people can only be so good of friends. It’s not like two people can just one day decide to be really good friends. It has to just happen subconsciously.

Now to really get into the thick of things.

When two people are really good friends, the quota is very high. They both expect to talk to each other as often as possible. They can talk about anything. There is never really a dull moment. The quota on how often they talk is constantly being fulfilled. What happens though when one person isn’t holding up their end of the friendship? What happens when the quota isn’t being filled? It is important to note that the quota can’t be filled unless both parties do the necessary work to fill it. One person can’t fill a friendship quota alone. There is only so much person A can do when person B isn’t making an effort to fill the quota. Eventually, it gets to the point where person A is so discouraged with person B’s lack of concern with their friendship that the quota begins to decrease. Person A eventually stops expecting so much from person B. It doesn’t take as much to supply person A with the same amount of satisfaction that s/he once gained when the quota was higher. You see this often when two people leave for college. When they are away from each other, it is harder to maintain that same time of relationship they once had. There’s not as much to talk about anymore. They’re both busy doing their own things. Either way, it’s not like person A and person B aren’t friends anymore. They still talk occasionally, but they’re not nearly as good of friends as they once were. When they both return from school, for example, they will reunite and the quota will once again rise to what it once was. The quota is constantly changing based on factors in the lives of the two individuals.

Now, to relate this whole quota idea with success. As you go through life, you’re going to gain and lose friends. It’s a part of life. You could be best friends with someone one day, and a year later, you two might not even speak. It’s a sad thing to happen, but it does indeed occur. The thing you have to do is just accept that people will come and go in your life. Quotas will alternate both high and low. By having the intelligence to know that this happens, you can continue to stay focused. As difficult as it may be, you have to just roll with the punches and keep fighting forward. The world isn’t going to slow down just because you have difficulty accepting change. Understand that there will be highs and lows in your life. If you happen to be experiencing one of the low points, just keep your head up. Things are bound to get better. Friendship is like the stock market. One day the stock will be down and you’ll be losing money, and another day it will be up and stronger than ever. In the long run, the stock is bound to be higher than where it originated. Why do you think those stock brokers yell at you not to sell. They understand the market and know that in time, the stock is bound to go back up. Consider me your broker. I’m not going to yell at you, but I will tell you that in the long run you will be happy and successful. People enter and exit your life for a reason. The ones who are meant to be there will stay.

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